For the first time in months I feel excited and hopeful. My negativity continues to hover around my head my dad is sick, money is still missing, my friends each day are distancing further and my family keeps growing. So what I might be happy? Simple, the possibility of a new and better life.
this weekend and adventure unintentionally end up spending it in Oaxtepec in a small hotel away from all civilization, was so relaxing, my mind was at peace, demons and psychiatric problems went to sleep for two days.
Our next step was very clear, why stay in a city like Mexico City if you can live close but in a quiet, beautiful, super cheap and possibilities to give my daughters a better quality of life? We began to see houses, impressive, so we rented a tiny apartment and ugly in the City, we rented a beautiful house and even a pool in that area, on one hand the Tepozteco, the other volcanoes, hot delicious, all full of cornfields, silent, are the stars!, without crime. Maybe it's a bit boring, but as long as internet'm happy, little by little I will adapt to the lifestyle quiet and peaceful.
I feel that I deserve this, and I never feel I deserve anything good, but this time I think is the best medicine can I take for my mental problems, which are real and have had no desire or time diagnose and fewer doctors.
My daughters deserve a healthy mom, and my husband a woman who can do anything other than mourn or complain about his bitter life.
Well all the excitement and emotion crashes into reality, it is possible to move? whether monetarily if half goat and whether it would be somewhat complicated, it can, but I get stressed, is the best? all spending and that this does not work? and if we were left with nothing there? and if an idiot spending, we should better resolve other things? etc, etc. Just as it reaches us, with two dollars to spare, my husband followed in the City, so we almost did not see, but the plan is to slowly move their businesses to there ... I have too much fear, but more than that I have too much emotion ... and for the first time in years I want this as I did not want anything else.
But I need more to want. I do not think that is so wrong with asking for something, need something and get it, right? because my brain tell me that crap should feel guilty about ordering and need, to believe worthy. But what am I? or not?
AArhg ... until I got to write this, I want opinions, I'm crazy?
